May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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