mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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