They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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