Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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