just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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