I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
