the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
