I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
