I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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