Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I have demons in me.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Someone signed my nipple.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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