I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Randomize
