if you like me you must not know who I am
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
