No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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