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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
