Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Redeem this text for a blowjob
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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