Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
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