we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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