Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
