just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
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