Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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