So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
