roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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