i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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