her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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