I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
