i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i think i have two assholes
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I need a beard to bite.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
