I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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