If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
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