where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
