I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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