we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
