You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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