I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
found the other keg... it's in the tree
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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