Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
