Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
