his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Houston, we have a blender
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I currently don't understand fingers.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
