i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The beer is more important than you right now.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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