hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
