dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
