Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
