I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
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