The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
