It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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