omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
