He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
