Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
