is your mom at the bar?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
whose parrot is this?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
