never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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