Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
