I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
