It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
