i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
