Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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