Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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