oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
