Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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